Starsky and Hutch rant, er, review.
Mar. 30th, 2004 10:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
castaliaThanks to all of you for your support the past few days. *hugs friendslist to bits*
For distraction purposes, here's that review of the new Starsky and Hutch movie I promised...
If my post the other day wasn't indication enough, I really, really didn't like this movie. It physically pained me. I'll admit I wasn't expected it to be good, but I did hold out one last bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, they'd at least harbor some respect for the source and make a fun little spoof. Too bad that hope was knocked down, stomped on, and run over by a hyped-up Torino for good measure.
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cimmerianwillow has already written up her review which sums up my feelings pretty well. I'm going to take a page from her book and start with the good, the few, the things-I-could-watch-without-wanting-to-cry.
So, Snoop Dog as Huggy Bear. Believe it or not, this was of the good. I was not expecting to like him at all, but he was kinda cool. They didn't make him a pimp (which I was afraid of, after seeing the articles and previews), but rather a sort of "protector of his neighborhood" and Hutch's informant. He also got the cool props, including an iguana, a cane with a gold fist on top, and a fur coat of many colors.
Vince Vaughn, the villian. He was actually pretty funny, in a movie that was sadly lacking in good humor moments.
The little details were nice. Things like hearing "Zebra 3", seeing them wear replicas of clothing worn in the series, their guns, stuff like that.
The very best part of the movie was David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser's cameo. Really, that five minutes was worth sitting through the rest of the crap. They just sparkled on screen, giving the impression of an old married couple who've been together for decades. Wonderful.
Now for the bad. Um, the rest of the movie, really. Worst, IMO, was the characterization. Sometimes I could see that someone (usually Stiller) had done his homework and tried to be true to the original character. Stiller had several of Glaser's mannerisms down pat (although he exaggerated some to an embarrassing extent). But mostly? I didn't recognize the boys at all. Starsky was made into a freakishly by-the-book cop with OCD with issues about his dead mother (who was made into a cop, for some reason).
Hutch? Oh my poor dearest Hutch...he was unrecognizable. Oh, he had the hair, and the clothes, and the badge, but he wasn't Hutch. In his introduction, we see him robbing. a freaking. bookie. His philosophy in life? "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Hutch. The original White Knight. Then it gets better - his next move is to rob a dead corpse of the cash in his wallet. I've never disliked Owen Wilson so much. He made Hutch dishonest, stupid, irresponsible, and a slob.
This movie is yet another testament to the fact that Owen Wilson cannot act. He gets up there and speaks the lines as himself. They even make a joke about it in the movie, "I don't do voices or characters." Well, duh. And you know what? That technique, or lack thereof, sucks.
I wasn't very happy with the relationship b/w the boys, either. Instead of sticking to canon, in which they go through the Academy together and have been partners for years, the movie sets it up so they can meet for the first time. They're partnered against their wishes, and spend the first 30 minutes or so disliking each other. When they do manage to bond, it's always turned into a big joke, something to be laughed at. Touching and declarations are immediately followed by Random Assertions of Heterosexuality, including a threesome involving Hutch which made me ill.
I missed the pet names and recurring jokes from the series. No "Blintz" or "Gordo" or "Blondie", no "Me 'n Thee", and even Hutch's delapidated car was replaced by an ugly truck w/camper thing.
There's a moment towards the end in which Hutch is held hostage b/w Starsky's gun and the villian. Normally, you'd expect this to be a moment of pure partner trust, but they even managed to screw that up. Starsky is confident he can make the shot, but Hutch displays a complete lack of trust and won't let him shoot. In the end, Starsky shoots anyway, misses *completely*, and shoots Dobey instead. Hutch's big moment of partner support is to cover for him and say the villian shot Dobey. I was unimpressed.
As far as the gay jokes, which I was expecting, they weren't at all funny. In fact, I was more than a little offended. In this movie, homosexuality = freakish and sick. There's a scene in a jail involving a gay inmate that is just terrible. Dobey (spelled "Doby" in the movie for some unknown reason) also comes off as highly homophobic, at one point screaming "Why are you touching him?!" when Hutch feels Starsky's hair. Considering it was just an argument about whether or not his hair was natural or a perm, the captain's reaction seemed way over the top.
The plot was forgettable, really. Many of the scenes felt like they lasted forever, to the point where I kept thinking "when is this bit going to *end*?". Jokes fell flat, I felt like they were mocking the 70s rather than spoofing, maturity went out the window, and I never felt like they truly respected the original show at all. They really forgot what the original was all about: "two guys who loved each other more than anything else in the world and who would always be there for each other, no matter what their relationship was, platonic or otherwise.", to quote Willow.
So, yeah, not worth the price of admission. I'd pay the matinee price just to see the last five minutes, but bring a numbing agent if you want to sit through the rest.
For distraction purposes, here's that review of the new Starsky and Hutch movie I promised...
If my post the other day wasn't indication enough, I really, really didn't like this movie. It physically pained me. I'll admit I wasn't expected it to be good, but I did hold out one last bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, they'd at least harbor some respect for the source and make a fun little spoof. Too bad that hope was knocked down, stomped on, and run over by a hyped-up Torino for good measure.
cimmerianwillow has already written up her review which sums up my feelings pretty well. I'm going to take a page from her book and start with the good, the few, the things-I-could-watch-without-wanting-to-cry.So, Snoop Dog as Huggy Bear. Believe it or not, this was of the good. I was not expecting to like him at all, but he was kinda cool. They didn't make him a pimp (which I was afraid of, after seeing the articles and previews), but rather a sort of "protector of his neighborhood" and Hutch's informant. He also got the cool props, including an iguana, a cane with a gold fist on top, and a fur coat of many colors.
Vince Vaughn, the villian. He was actually pretty funny, in a movie that was sadly lacking in good humor moments.
The little details were nice. Things like hearing "Zebra 3", seeing them wear replicas of clothing worn in the series, their guns, stuff like that.
The very best part of the movie was David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser's cameo. Really, that five minutes was worth sitting through the rest of the crap. They just sparkled on screen, giving the impression of an old married couple who've been together for decades. Wonderful.
Now for the bad. Um, the rest of the movie, really. Worst, IMO, was the characterization. Sometimes I could see that someone (usually Stiller) had done his homework and tried to be true to the original character. Stiller had several of Glaser's mannerisms down pat (although he exaggerated some to an embarrassing extent). But mostly? I didn't recognize the boys at all. Starsky was made into a freakishly by-the-book cop with OCD with issues about his dead mother (who was made into a cop, for some reason).
Hutch? Oh my poor dearest Hutch...he was unrecognizable. Oh, he had the hair, and the clothes, and the badge, but he wasn't Hutch. In his introduction, we see him robbing. a freaking. bookie. His philosophy in life? "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Hutch. The original White Knight. Then it gets better - his next move is to rob a dead corpse of the cash in his wallet. I've never disliked Owen Wilson so much. He made Hutch dishonest, stupid, irresponsible, and a slob.
This movie is yet another testament to the fact that Owen Wilson cannot act. He gets up there and speaks the lines as himself. They even make a joke about it in the movie, "I don't do voices or characters." Well, duh. And you know what? That technique, or lack thereof, sucks.
I wasn't very happy with the relationship b/w the boys, either. Instead of sticking to canon, in which they go through the Academy together and have been partners for years, the movie sets it up so they can meet for the first time. They're partnered against their wishes, and spend the first 30 minutes or so disliking each other. When they do manage to bond, it's always turned into a big joke, something to be laughed at. Touching and declarations are immediately followed by Random Assertions of Heterosexuality, including a threesome involving Hutch which made me ill.
I missed the pet names and recurring jokes from the series. No "Blintz" or "Gordo" or "Blondie", no "Me 'n Thee", and even Hutch's delapidated car was replaced by an ugly truck w/camper thing.
There's a moment towards the end in which Hutch is held hostage b/w Starsky's gun and the villian. Normally, you'd expect this to be a moment of pure partner trust, but they even managed to screw that up. Starsky is confident he can make the shot, but Hutch displays a complete lack of trust and won't let him shoot. In the end, Starsky shoots anyway, misses *completely*, and shoots Dobey instead. Hutch's big moment of partner support is to cover for him and say the villian shot Dobey. I was unimpressed.
As far as the gay jokes, which I was expecting, they weren't at all funny. In fact, I was more than a little offended. In this movie, homosexuality = freakish and sick. There's a scene in a jail involving a gay inmate that is just terrible. Dobey (spelled "Doby" in the movie for some unknown reason) also comes off as highly homophobic, at one point screaming "Why are you touching him?!" when Hutch feels Starsky's hair. Considering it was just an argument about whether or not his hair was natural or a perm, the captain's reaction seemed way over the top.
The plot was forgettable, really. Many of the scenes felt like they lasted forever, to the point where I kept thinking "when is this bit going to *end*?". Jokes fell flat, I felt like they were mocking the 70s rather than spoofing, maturity went out the window, and I never felt like they truly respected the original show at all. They really forgot what the original was all about: "two guys who loved each other more than anything else in the world and who would always be there for each other, no matter what their relationship was, platonic or otherwise.", to quote Willow.
So, yeah, not worth the price of admission. I'd pay the matinee price just to see the last five minutes, but bring a numbing agent if you want to sit through the rest.
